The Great Pillow Conspiracy: Why Men Will Never Understand Cozy

Ah, mon amour, we must talk. It is about something très important. Something that men, for some reason, will never understand…

Cozy.

Yes, cozy, my darling. That feeling of warmth, of elegance, of a bed that is not just a place to sleep, but a sanctuary. A work of art. A reflection of one’s âme—one’s soul.

But you… you do not see it.

You walk into our bedroom—our beautiful, perfectly curated bedroom—and what do you say?

"Pourquoi? Why? Why are there so many pillows?"

Mon Dieu.

You act as if you have entered a crime scene. As if these pillows have arrived here by accident, by some terrible misunderstanding.

"What do we do with all of them? Where do they go?"

Où vont-ils? My love, they go nowhere! They stay where they are! They exist to be beautiful! To create an atmosphere of je ne sais quoi!

But no. Every night, we must perform The Great Pillow Removal.

"Alright, my love, it is time. Commence Operation Pillow Evacuation."

And suddenly, you are throwing them! Tossing them like baguettes at a bad café! One flies to the floor. Another is crushed into a chair. One—you do not even know where it has gone!

And I? I am standing there, shaking my head, whispering to myself…

"C’était du lin français… That was French linen.

And after all of this destruction, you… You sleep on one pillow.

One.

This man—this person I have chosen to share my life with—removes an entire masterpiece of bedding… and he sleeps with one sad, lonely, flat pillow.

Meanwhile, I have a system.

• One for my head  
• One for my arm  
• One for my knees.  
• One to hold, because it feels romantic. 
• One because it is beautiful and completes the entire experience of life itself.

But do you see the vision? Do you understand the magic? No. No, you do not.

And yet… every morning… I wake up. I restore the beauty. I rebuild what has been lost. Because this is what we do.

A bed must be inviting. It must feel like a hotel in Saint-Tropez, or a weekend retreat in Provence. And my home, my cherie, is a place of comfort, of softness, of elegance.

So yes, my darling. We do need all of these pillows. And we will put them back every morning.

Because this is how one lives well.

And if you do not like it, mon amour, there is always the couch.

But of course, even that has pillows.